Epiphany

Other day I was just sitting round thinking ... Ppl do that a lot more when u are unemployed ... (temporary state of being) ... Any who ... I've been holding onto unnecessary crap ... I was like ... What for ... More drama more pain more heartache more tears more what ifs more unanswered questions ... I'll pass on all that now ... I've got 2 beautiful kids to live for ... I've been running from getting myself together for a long time ... Lord will bless me wit car ... New home ... Good job ... Happiness ... Peace of mind ... Then in a blink of an eye ... I lose it all ... ALL of it gone ... U see u can't pray & ask Lord for things then He gives them to u & not do what he asks u to do in return ... In my case I half way did what I was suppose to ... Y ... Cuz Lord said I should let something go ... But I held on to it ... Like it was something I needed ... Come to find out ... I really
don't ... So now I'm fully completely whole heartedly giving it all up to Him ... I'm not running any more ... I'm not letting any more blessings be snatched away from me ... I'm not starting over any more ... I submit Lord ... I submit ...

Til Next Time

Just As I Am

I'm Pissed

This year I got the pleasure of being audited ... Yippee ... Yeah rite ... I found out day I was suppose to get my refund ... I could have spit fire that day ... I called I. R. S. next day to find out what I needed to do ... I took my time filled out all papers they sent me ... Sent in all the papers they told me to send ... Mind u now reason why I'm being audited is cuz they were questioning whether or not children I claimed were mine ... Hell Yeah they are mine ... If there was a mix up at hospital its too late now ... I wanted to ask I. R. S. agents I spoke to did they want pics of stretch marks ... Cuz I no which child gave them to me ... Like they don't know these my kids ... My refund was suppose to be good chuck of change this year ... Round $8000 this year ... Love those school credits ... Biggest I have ever got ... So I've been playing waiting game wit govt ... Something told
me to check my acct ... I did ... There some $$$$$ in there from some place I never heard of ... I called my bank asked where this $800 come from ... This woman tell me its my tax refund ... ITS MY WHAT!!!! ... RU SERIOUS!!! ... Where is the rest of it ...

To Be Continued

Til Next Time

Just As I Am

Thoughts

My life has been up & down .. Up & down .. Where does it all start to just come together at a stable level .. And just have a bump .. Instead I get flatten as a pancake ... I can admit there were things that happen in my life that could have been prevented ... And like any one else if I could turn back the hands of time .. I would in a heart beat ... I just want to be able to get through life wit out having to start over ...

Til Next Time

Just As I Am

Reputation

When u are young u really don't think about some of the things u do at the time. U just do them. But sometimes u do think about them and don't do them. All in all what I'm saying is. What u do follows u in your future. Especially as a female. I know for a fact a lot of things that were said bout me or did ... I didn't do. But cuz a few ppl don't like u or u hung out wit ppl who did .. U were doing it too .. Now as an adult u some of this ppl that disliked u and they still talking crazy cuz they believed all the stuff they heard ... I was never type of person to be fighting all the time ... I was scary as hell ... I ran from a fight ... I was never the type of person to give away the goodies either ... I was a tease ... Which wasn't any better ... I didn't just randomly have sex with in and everybody ... Hell No .. A lot of the guys that said they did get it ... Didn't ... But cuz I
was a tease ... Somewhere story got twisted in their minds I did all kinds of things ... So the next person thought they were going to get same treatment ... Ha!!! ... I never did any of those things ... Anywho ... I'm an adult now ... I still sometimes find myself defending myself against some of these things ... WOW ... A lot of ppl need to grow up ... Let go of the lies that heard told and repeated over the years ... I never was that person that u heard about ... Lot of ppl never got to no me to find out ... If u really knew me u would no ... Even still to this day I have to wonder what if I listened and not run round like I did ... Or try to .. Cuz if u no my mommy she didn't play that .. What if I stayed in house all time ... Would I still be labeled that person ... Never no .. Its all part of life ... I pray a lot more ...

Til next time

Just As I Am